Friday, May 29, 2009

Take Me Out to The Ballgame

Last weekend the boyfriend and I headed out the door to go experience an All-American ballgame on an All-American weekend. Unfortunately it got rained out. But that didn't stop me - my game face was already on and my bag was already packed. So instead of pitching (heehee!) a fit, I decided to blog about it. Let's play ball!

Our great state of Georgia has the Atlanta Braves baseball team...but we also have a minor league team called the Gwinnett Braves. can get a little bit confusing. But the great thing about the minors is that the stadium is shmancy, still has that new-stadium-smell and they have a BERM...or a spot for blanketing at cheaper rates! Granted, you can't bring in your own food or alcohol but it is nice for those of us that only care about one type of pitcher...and it holds hydrangeas.

So here is the list of stuff that begs to be taken to ball games...whether it be your kid's teeball game or your nephew's little league or even your brother's highschool world series.

1. Eye candy. Nothing can get you through those long innings like drooling over the latest glossy mag.

2. Blankie. Cush for your tush, towel for damp bleachers, and a wrap for those sweaty jerseys - a thin mexican blanket will do it all and still fit in your bag.

3. Cash. Tuck enough in your pocket for a footlong, a tray of nachos, a pretzel, some Nerd Ropes, cotton candy and a water...because you are on a diet.

4. Wristlet. A little tote for your wrist can hold the cell phone, the keys, and a credit card...just in case you eat all your cash.

5. Extra Strength Excedrin. 25 kids + 36 arguing parents + 3 umps + 2 random guys that scream 'heads up' after every contact with a ball = 1 major migraine.

6. Meat product. Since they don't sell pork in a small tube...beef will do.

7. Lip Gloss. Because prepackaged meat can be messy. And because there is that crazy mom who documents every single person at every single game....and yes, I hope to be her one day.

8. Granola. So that you can say that you ate a well-rounded meal. Or have one on hand to give your kid after the 4 oz juice box isn't enough.

9. Pashmina. Take a bite outta the chill with a shoulder wrap. Also functions as a face cover when entering the car with a sweaty child.

10. Water bottle. To wash down the excedrin. Or for wiping off the bleachers.

And then don't forget to make sure it all fits nice and tight into an oversized tote. I like to stack things with the bag lying down...that way if I need something as I walk into the park, I can just grab it. Like if I see Will Ferrell running naked, I could whip out the cell phone. Sure, I could just google that later but the point is, make sure your accessories are accesible.

And here is me with my fake smile and my ready-to-go bag. Yes, I am a poser. Literally. And yes, I photoshopped that monster zit off my face while saying 'strike three - yur ouutta heyah!'.

So what would you add to your ballgame bag? Any good tips you wanna share? I am root-root-rooting for someone to pull a Madonna and say crackerjack....and A-rod :)

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Shade Shape

If all decor items were part of a jungle, then lampshades would be hippos. Keep with me here.

Hippos are silent types, right? So are lampshades. And if the hippo isn't in it's happy place...everybody knows about it...if a lampshade isn't sunny...people also can tell. Plus there is a christmas song about hippos...which makes me smile...there is also an entire aisle in Walmart for lampshades...which also makes me smile. And get this...that aisle...yeah, it's as wide as (you guessed it) a Hippo.

So anyhoo. The hippo...err...lampshade that was in our den alluminating our little storage dresser had a beige lampshade on it. But the pink undertone of the shade was not getting along with the green undertones of the paint color. I know you can't tell, but trust me...the clash was bigger than Kristi Allen's chinese takeout box.

After a little research I ran out to grab a square empire shade from Target. I wanted to get a square shade because the basement door could open and hit a round shade. Plus the linear shape accented the squares of the mirror and the squares of the birdcage and the squares of the books. Yes, lots of squares here. So that's when it hit me...maybe I could share my lamp shade research with you.

So here are the six main shade shapes that I found and some info on each of them. After reading this you will be well equipped to choose your shade, and all of the calories you consumed today will not count. Cause that's how I roll :)

First up is the bell shape. The bell shape is the most popular of the lampshades and also in my opinion the most traditional and formal. The features of a bell shade are that the top ring of the frame is smaller than the bottom ring and the vertical lines of the shade are curved rather than straight. The curved lines create an arc or a bell shape. (duh Katie.) This flared design allows the light to travel down rather than up...which is good if you are using this shade for a reading area or a spot that you want the attention to be on what is below the shade...such as a buffet or a desk. Or in an area where space is a stray corner or a bookcase.

image curtesy of restoration hardware

Next we have my personal favorite - the drum shade. The drum shape is evident with a frame that has both the same sized upper and lower rings. Although some drum shades have rings that are slightly different size. The drum shade is great for general illumination areas such as sidetables, nightstands, and even bathrooms where you want the light to spread up and down. I like it because it looks the most clean and classic.

image curtesy of pottery barn

Up to bat is the empire shade...not to be confused with umpire shades...or vampire shades...which do not exist :) The empire shade is the BFF of the bell shade. Both have upper rings that are smaller than the lower rings, but the empire shade does not have the flare of it's friend. It has straight lines that make it a more casual and less stuffy. My favorite spots for empire shades are in laidback family rooms, sunrooms, and even in the kitchen.

image curtesy of pottery barn

Ovals are fatties from the front and Posh Spices from the side. The oval drum shade below is a perfect example of how to pair this shade with a base. The fact that they take up visual room without actually taking up space makes this shade a perfect piece for sideboards, small nightstands, and any other place that your furniture real estate is tight.

image curtesy of crate&barrel

Usually paired with a rectangle lamp base, the rectangle shaped shade is masculine and contemporary. The oval and sexy recty are one in the same for uses. If you decide that this is the shade for you - make sure you keep an eye out for a loose harps (the doohicky with two arms that you can clip shades into) as this puppy is easy to get askewed. Those horizontal lines always need to be level with the furniture!

image curtesy of pottery barn

Lastly we have the square. Yes, currently the shape that I chose for my den. Like I said before, the clean lines help this geometric shade retain a manly feel as well as appeal to the masses. It is hip to be square :) yes, the cheese flows through my veins.

image curtesy of pottery barn

So there you have it folks - a tutorial on shade shape. Hope this was as helpful to you as it will be for me after I forget everything. One thing I won't forget - drum shades are my bacon. They are so delish. So what is your favorite?

Oh - and boys...if your wife starts singing "I wanna hippotomus for Christmas"'s a tip - she ain't talking about a water buffalo :) Us women are so shady...heehee!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Bird Herd

Obsessed. That's exactly how I feel about birds. Here's the evidence. I sketched a crapperific little brown thrasher for my den. I drooled over my mom's christmas bird decor...well not literally because it would ruin the ornaments. And I even bought a little white ceramic birdie even though it gave me the stank eye. So I am officially obsessed. Therefore, you can bet your bottom dollar that when I saw a trio of birds at my local antique store, I was flyin high. They were so cute, I think I even mumbled 'cock-a-doodle-doo-hoo-hoo-hoo!'

Wanna meet my chicklets? Ok - introducing Mr. Blue...Mr. Blue Bird. Yes. He is white. Let's not let racial prejudice get in the way here.

Say Hi to Lady. Lady Bird. Yes, she likes wildflowers :)

And finally Larry. You guys can figure that one out :) He can really fly for a white guy.

Their tiny little birdie bodies are perfect for just a smidgen of chic (or chick) accent in our den. And because they are all white, they really pop against the dark grain of the bookcases as well as stay well within the bounds of non-gaudy animal sculptures guidelines. C'mon. This ain't the Neverland Ranch.

Even scattering the little feathered friends around the room allow the trio to seem less like a set of triplets and more like individual accent pieces. And don't parents of (coughJohn&Katecough) multiples usually want their own space anyway?

Larry is taking centerstage on this stack of neutral bound books over on the other side of the room. And speaking of having birds on every side of the small space, let's talk about themes for a moment. Even though the den definitely has a theme of birds throughout...the birds aren't overwhelming because they are subtle in size, with very little color variation (they are all white) and they are now reached their max in number.

And if I ever get tired of the avian theme - I could remove them without changing the basics of the room such as furniture, major art, or color scheme. I am also sure that these three would be never get stuck in the yard sale pile - seeing as how they would be a cinch to store and would be just darling used as decor at an Easter brunch buffet or a ladies tea party. Definitely $5 well spent for the trio.

Going along with the birdie theme is this structural little white-washed birdhouse that I also picked up for $5. Seeing as how I didn't need to do a thing to it (love the patina), I thought that the cutesy little thing would be a perfect way to play on the theme without adding another bird into the room.

I love how the clean lines of my bird 'church' seem to bring out the best in the reflective mirrors hung above them. And how Larry appears to have escaped the cage and looks to be taking flight...GO LARRY GO!

Well, there you have it - one trio of birdieboops and one birdcage. Dontcha just love getting new pets that don't poop, eat or die? I do.

So what do you think? Good purchases or too many hens in the house? Also, I thought I got a pretty good deal but do you think the price was fowl? Also, my dear bloggie friends (Anon that means you!), pray with all your might that my mom will sell me her bamboo birdcage....this good egg wants it for above the fridge and I am sure that with a few extra prayers, God will change her heart. (Sorry Mom...I can't help but play dirty. P.S. You are one hot spring chicken!)

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Decoration Day

Memorial Day was formally known as Decoration Day. (insert eye sparkle here) As Americans everywhere observed the holiday by decorating the graves of soldiers with flowers and flags, I remembered our fallen comrades with a different sortof medallion. See if you can find what I am talking about:'s that navy and white book. Actually it is box made to look like a book. Sortof like a book that you would find in a creepy old library and it would contain a weapon or secrets on how to perform a brain transfer or something like that. Basically this home decor item is pulling a Michael Jackson....and you know what I mean :) Anyhoo - this small non-creepy box is covered in a great navy and white medallion patterned fabric.

My friend Brook spied it while we were shopping in the HomeGoods clearance section. It actually matches her pillows quite perfectly. But she wasn't sure if she would use a book/box. (And obviously I love storage boxes in my living room). So I told her that if she didn't buy it, I would. And at $3 it was quite a steal. They actually had bigger sizes but I knew that this small one would suit me just peachy. Wanna guess what I had in mind for this little gem?

The correct answer is a pedicure kit! One hundred and fourteen points if you guessed it right! When Brook asked what I was gonna use it for...a pedicure kit was the first thing that came to mind. It was the perfect size for holding clippers, nail files, some cotton balls for spreading the toes ('you gotta keep em separated!' Holla Offspring!) and of course, some polish. Because let's be honest - I do not notice the toe-funk until I am plopped on the couch. And then I am too pooped to retrieve said toe-funk removal utensils.

Speaking of couch - doesn't the navy and white of the medallion fabric go with the colors of the new summery sofa pillows just like bacon & eggs. Not that I would ever put bacon or eggs on the sofa...that would be messy. And a complete waste of bacon.

I especially like the layered look with the book - "What Every Husband Should Know" and my little Hooker art. I don't know why but that title is hilarious to me.

So there you have it folks. A fab little side storage soley (heehee) devoted to toes. Plus a perfect reminder that every time I look down at my fungus & jam free nails or at the living room side table, that I should be uber thankful for those who gave their lives so that I can have the freedom to worry about mundane and insignificant things like hangnails. Seriously, can I get a 'wa' to the 'hoo' !?!? WAHOO!

Questions - how did you celebrate Memorial Day? Anybody write letters or actually decorate a soldiers grave? Any fireworks? Did you do like me & decorate? What would you have put in this little box/book of toenail fun? And yes, prepackaged pork products did cross my mind as a must for a pedicure kit...just sayin.

Friday, May 22, 2009

White Hot

It was an accident. And smooches to God for not letting our house catch on fire.

Needless to say...grease fires are dangerous. And apparently my chicken marinade is really oily. My boyfriend is usually on top of keeping the house, the cars, and the grill in top-notch cleanliness. Yes, I married a mutant. Love you baby! But we had forgotten about the time we made 70 lbs of grilled poultry for the ladies at our church. So it was a complete surprise when we were firing up the grill to find that it got hotter than a latin dance competition. Muy Caliente! Before we knew it, smoke was pouring out the back of the grill. And even though the grill was away from the house, our siding got the brunt of the Kenmore's temper tantrum...and was loaded down with grease & soot. But no matter how much we scrubbed, the white paint still looked dingy. So I have been dreaming of a new paint job.

The picture above is the original...pre-photoshop version. Kinda like American Idol's Bikini Girl during Hollywood week. And then the next ones are when she returns to sing horribly....oh...was I the only one listening while gaping at Kara's abs? Boys - you need to learn how to multitask that way you could oogle and hear the trainwreck for the finale.

So which one do you like better? Is the blue-gray too dark? Is the brown too dirty looking? Is the green like a third nipple and just weird? Or do you think that maybe we should just stick to white?

Repainting our house isn't in the hopper right now - but a girl can dream, right? I mean, the Bikini Girl probably had Pussycat Doll dreams about growing up. Well world, exterior paint color is my version of tah-tahs. (boys everywhere are disoriented and confused right now, huh?)

Thursday, May 21, 2009

A Lemon Lime Wedding

Let's get this party started, shall we? I am here to get down while sharing a very special wedding with you folks. So warm up your chicken arms & electric slide because we are gonna boogie the night away....with a very lemony & limey celebration.

I was thrilled outta my face when I received an invitation that stated my long-time buddy Jack was takin the plunge and finally settling down. Jack is a good ole boy at heart (one time he made me a gift outta was almost as awesome as the one he made with a chainsaw) but he is a true romantic too. So I knew that when we walked up to the outdoor ceremony complete with TONS of flowers - this was truly a reflection of the beautiful bride and my boy Jack.

And speaking of the bride, Callae looked absolutely radiant in her cream beaded gown and pearl necklace. Can you believe this girl doesn't have to wear makeup!?!? (enter choice words here). If it were possible to actually change my skin color outta pure jealousy - I would blend right in with her color scheme which was an amazing blend of yellows, greens, and whites. And the color of her bouquet really picked up those hues by highlighting the white & golden roses.

But Callae wasn't the only thing decked out with flowers - they were everywhere. It was like a florist shop exploded and all the perfectly arranged groups became magically fastened to each row of chairs, the lamps, the doors, the railings, and everywhere inbetween. Like the one pictured above - yeah, the one with hydrangeas, roses, and lilys - was attached to a stairway that lead us from the ceremony spot down to the adjoining reception facility.

The view from the party spot was unreal. In one direction, you are looking up the hill to see the small gazebo where Jack & Callae said "I do" with the chapel behind it. And the other way, you are overlooking farmlands to view Watts Bar Lake & the Tennessee mountains! Did I mention that this was the perfect spot to get married? Yeah...if weddings were karate - the Whitestone Country Inn would be Mister Miyagi....and he really knows how to kick it :)

Greeting us at the reception was a table loaded with vintage glassware and huge jars of lemonade and limeade. Dontcha just love the floaters? You knew it was coming...didn't you?! :)

And after we grabbed a glass of our favorite sweet & tart beverage we were ushered into the reception space. The first thing that grabbed my attention was the slew of food. And after I stopped hunching over the buffet like a vulture ready to pounce, I realized that waiters had trays with something on it that smelled like bacon. I was correct. Pineapple wrapped in bacon, shrimp cocktail served in mini shot glasses and chocolate covered strawberries were just enough to keep the hunger at least for a few minutes.

The crew of hungry men that live in my stomach didn't have to wait long because we were soon invited to the feast that I had earlier undressed with my eyes. This was my first plate. The second had chicken and the third had seven bacon appetizers. (oh and do you see the ceremony program in the back? Yeah - simple & cute - I was totally loving the green ribbon!)

I couldn't wait to share the small centerpiece (I didn't get a shot of the big ones!) that made it's home on our table. I love the lemon & lime slices like boys love their own parts. It's seriously that much. (and doesn't it kinda remind you of the baby shower I threw back in October - but with more fab goldenness?)

And love wouldn't be love without cake to celebrate, right? The wedding cake was a layered feast with pound cake with lemon filling and a white cake with strawberries mixed in to accent the strawberry cream cheese icing. It was heavenly. HEAVENLY! And even with it's angelic status, it didn't capture my heart like the groom's cake did. Ohhhh. Let me tell you a thing or two. I don't even like cake. I am more of an icecream with a brownie type of girl. But the chocolate thunder that was the groom's cake had me shakin in my heels. Literally. Two people asked if I was ok. And I heard one person whisper that I was having a seizure. It was that good.

Even though I was suffering from slight sugar shock, it didn't stop me from running around taking pictures of the creativity that I could incorporate at home. Just check out this simple vase filled with some citrus fruits and topped with some cream colored flowers. Stunning right? But imagine it now in the center of your buffet the next time you host a dinner party. Yes - your friends will think you are a decorating genius.

And if that wasn't enough - look at these small round fishbowls filled with some leaves and either a fruit or flower. Hello to a centerpiece that is easy to talk over and will increase your reputation!

If the running around, bootie dancing and jumping up and down was enough to burn off the 4000 calories I had consumed, the newlyweds were kind enough to make sure we could take a little something home with us. Isn't that sweet? (heehee!) This candy bar was consumed with the wedding colors - but not that I noticed. I was too busy pushing kids out of the way so that I could get the scoops first! I filled my little box - and one for my boyfriend - made a mental note to say how much I love the yellow ribbon stripes - and headed out to the car for the long drive home.

But don't you worry - we were smart enough to set the camera on a timer for the obligatory couples picture. Didn't my Jeremy look so dashing in his suit? Seriously - if I hadn't been in such a rush to get back to watch the shows on our DVR, I would probably wanted to renew our vows right then and there. Yeah, I am a thunderstealer.

So now that Jack & Callae are off traveling the globe (yes - their honeymoon was a monthlong trip around the world) - let's eat bacon outta jealousy talk about our favorite part of the wedding. Was it the amazing centerpieces? the location, location, location? the spritely color scheme? or are you a girl like me who votes with her tastebuds? Aren't buffets amazing?!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Recipe for Success

1 part Paula + 1 part Martha = success. Trust me on this one.

I was looking through my cookbooks to find something easy to make that could make a grown man cry. Not just any grown man...specifically, hotties. That's right. I am FINALLY getting around to making a yummy-in-my-tummy treat for our fire-fighting heroes. And I wanna make them bawl, roll into the fetal position and ask for a bah-bah.

Enter Paula. I have one of her cookbooks and she gave me a brilliant idea. One regular box of brownie mix and add a layer of her cheesecakey goodness and WAHLA! You end up with one batch of tear-inducing weepamatics.

Here is my modified recipe for the cheesecake layer -

  • 1 thingie creamcheese
  • 1 stick o butter
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 1 Tbl flour
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 cup pecan pieces

So throw your normal brownie mix in a pan but keep some for drizzling. Then layer the cheesecake mixture on top (I ran a knife tip around for those psychedelic swirls - totally tubular!) and then drizzle the rest of the brownie mix. Cook according to your box.

And then you end up with a dessert of champions. Are you drooling? Are you crying? Are you swearing up and down that your skinny jeans are not worth it. Yeah. me too. Except I don't own skinny jeans. I only own fat jeans and really fat jeans. But these cheese-cake-brownies would make every single pushup, crunch, and lunge worth it.

Wait. I should be honest...God judges me for lying on the blog too. I do not do pushups. Crunches only exist in my world as the sound of a potato chip loaded with Dean's dip being shoved in my pie hole. And the only lunge I do is the one I perform to stretch my fat jeans out in the upper thigh.

And what can make a treat for hotties look a little hotter? A perfect package. Enter Martha.

After Christmas I scored some festive treat boxes on clearance - 90% off! So this package of 6 treat boxes was only $1.50! Remember how I told ya to stock up after holidays? Yeah - this is that word of advice in action. I knew that I would be gifting edible goodies all year round, so buying these boxes was a cheap way to make our hometown heroes feel like they are loved.

The best part about these Stewart craft packages is that it came with everything. The inner boxes to hold the scrumdiliumptiousness, the outter decorative sleeve, the tissue paper, the ribbon and even a little sticker for a finishing touch. And although they are red (coughchristmasycough) I figure that they aren't too riddled with holiday spirit that they can't be used in May. Afterall, firemen are used to the redhot...heehee!

I truly love the scalloped border on the inner box and the polka dots. Even the white design on bold red looks rich and shmancy. Like the surprise inside actually hails from an expensive pastry shop instead of a kitchen in redneckville. (BTW - all Martha Crafts are 25% off at Michael's for three more days! Yipee!)

And speaking of goodlooking packaging, my boyfriend said that the cheese cake brownies were delicious tasting but the box made them look delicious. Maybe I should send this with a box of tissues too.

So now that you know what I am doing to bring a little love to our community crew - I wanna hear about what you do to show the peeps in your town how much you care. Do you spoil the po-po? Do you treat the old folks? Do you take Beggin Strips down to the dog park? (how did the topic go to bacon?!? weird.) Whatever it is that you give, whether it be a chocolate explosion, or a few hours at the hospital, or even a sweet snail mail note - I want all the juicy details. After all, hearing that there are still acts of kindness going on in the world makes me so happy I will probably need a whole box of Kleenex.