Monday, May 11, 2009

How to Host a House Crasher

I am not Martha Stewart. Not even close. I am more like Cindy Stewart (her younger, quirkier, less-talented-in all things-craftiness sister). And when it comes to hosting houseguests, Cindy likes to KISS (you know - keep it simple stupid!). So for our recent guests (who excel at all things fabulousness), I did just that. And now I am here to share how to host the heck outta your house crashers...the simple way.


I read somewhere that John & Sherry liked all-natural body products...well, we all know how effective those just in case the Hotlanta weather took its toll on the Petersik pits, a basket of extras is in the guest bedroom. Stock up mini toothpaste tubes, contact lens solvent, even sunscreen to take your home to 5 star hotel status. Best part? When something gets used up, replacing it costs usually around a buck.


Let's face it, most folks don't have time to clean their house from top to bottom for houseguests. And although I may be disgusting clean freaks from here to Timbucktwo, I only REALLY clean the spaces that are gonna be home for my friends - namely, the downstairs bathroom, the guest bathroom, the guest bedroom, and the kitchen. Everything else gets a quick sweep & tidy-check. (please note that this was NOT the case for the Petersik stay - where you could have found me running around like a crazy person - yes, for one day I was Paula Abdul of the clorox wipes!)


Dehydration is a real problem. And I am not talking about celebrity-dehydration (coughLohancough) which usually means that they aren't drunk. C'mon guys - hangovers don't mean you need your own hospital staff. Moving on. During the athletic event of house crashing, one can get thirsty. That is exactly why I like to make sure that the guest room has a couple glasses and a decanter full of H2O.


Supplying your guests with a luggage rack is a great alternative to knee or back surgery. And although you aren't responsible for their orthapaedic problems, a place to put their stuff is always nice. Even John mentioned that it was a nice spot for his Disney figurine collection (yeah, he takes it with him everywhere - oh wait, that was me!). Other extras that are great for your guest room are a blanket, extra towels, a little reading material, and a small dish for jewelry or change.


Sometimes the smallest details can make your guests feel right at home. And since Sherry is a writer at heart - I knew that she could handle this seven-letter word...WELCOME. Nothing says come in, take off your jacket, relax like this word. And I like to keep it up year-round (written on a white plate with a dry-erase marker) for a little greeting signage.


With John & Sherry on their way, we knew they had more refined (and when I say refined, I mean organic, natural, and healthy) tastebuds. So we made sure to stock up on orgagnic foods. No, that is not a typo. Don't judge & preservatives get along just fine. When you have your guests, keep in mind they might be on meat-free, milk-free, or calorie-free diets.


In order to mask the smell of bacon, air freshener is our friend. And my boyfriend was sure to spend about fifteen minutes spraying our odor remover all over the house prior to the Petersik arrival. Let's just put it this way, if your guests smell the pork stank when walking in the door, do you really think they wanna risk keeping their 10 lb doggie in there? The correct answer is no.


Do not go in for the full frontal hug uninvited. Trust's a little awkward. Instead give your guests a hug in plushness. A terrycloth robe, matching slippers, a snuggly blankie, even extra socks (NEW...NEW SOCKS! WITH THE TAGS!!) screams 'I want you to be comfortable here!'. And that is exactly the message you wanna send to people that could blast you on the internet...not that they would ever do that...right Sherry?!?!


When it comes to prepping your house, keep in mind that basic needs still need to be met. Make sure these basics are available to your house crashers...snacks, internet, knowledge of where to poop your dog...that didn't come out, the potty humor is just oozing today. pun intended. The point is that suppling & informing your new friends of the ins & outs of your home takes the 'ows' out of 'houseguests'.


Seriously. Bad. Idea.

Well, there you have it folks. A little insight on how to host a housecrasher for a fraction of the time and energy. Afterall, you will need that extra oomphf later when they ask you to give a foot their chihuahua. Not that that ever happened.

And to see the results of the housecrashing (which includes some fun photos of my partially cleaned and non-bacon-smelling house) go over to This Young House...and tell em crazy Katie sent ya!


Kelli said...

So I'll be over next weekend???? Nice touches.

Nikki said...

Very nice touches!

Heidi said...

OMG, the Disney characters are hilarious! I don't know what I would do if I walked into a house with that many stuffed animals and no kids to blame them on.

Elizabeth said...

Note to self...hide stuffed animals from guests. I used to work at a swank B&B on the GA coast, and we had these "quirky" regular guests that brought huge dolls with them on vacay. They would arrange them around the room pretending that they were doing "activities" (like playing cards on the porch, etc.). So housekeeping started moving them when they came in to clean the room...YIKES!

LyndsAU said...

Looks like you are one heck of a host :) I'm next ha!

Laurie said...

You know how to put up housecrasher in style!!! But I would have enjoyed the bacon smell.

*claire* said...

pork stank - lol.

so alaurable said...

Where or where is that perfect polka dot decanter from?!

Katie said...

Elizabeth - that is creepy and awesome! Love those kinda stories! Share away!

So Alaurable - the decanter is from TJMaxx...I think it was $10.

And all you folks who wanna visit - the Bower Power palace is always open to new friends - especially if you are from Disney World :)

XO - Katie

Kim said...

You are really the hostess with the mostess. My favorite "take-home" idea is the welcome sign. Very nice.

Emma said...

The Stuffed Animals are almost as funny as my husband's grandmother's collection of these overly expressive dolls that she gathers throughout her living room (the scariest perch behind your head on the couches). She names them after family members, friends, etc. There's a namesake for all of us in that room. In print, I am even more disturbed...LOVE your tips, I'll use them this summer when friends drop in!

Katie said...

Emma - it sounds to me like your grandma-in-law is my kinda lady! Your description had me in stiches...I even read it aloud to my boyfriend who was in the middle of videogaming and wasn't to be disturbed. It was worth the risk my it!

XO - Katie

Silly Southerner said...

Glad you got a kick out of my in-law crazies :-) I enjoy spreading the stories...and hoping that no one I spew to is in the same "social circle". This would imply that they are of this world however...P.S. I am so glad I stumbled upon your blog through (who else) but TYH :-) I am now addicted to both - you bring the funny, the crafty and the inspiration! Thanks!

Tamstyles said...

Only you would have my a$$ rolling over Paula Abdul and clorox wipes...oh meeee oh myyyyy..

Rosie said...

My guests will thank you for this post!

Jessica said...

I love your blog! I just got directed over here from 'this young house'. Your house is gorgeous and you are hilarious! :D

pve design said...

I am ready to crash and burn.... right there.
Terrific tips! Did your guests move right in!

Kristen said...

WOW - all of your "house guest aka crashers" ideas are right on. I am running to Target tomorrow to hit the $1 travel item aisle for sure!!!! Love your blog, i know i'm gonna be an addict just by reading this article.